screamed as load as i cud..

can you hear me?
ive screamed about as loud as
i thought it possible for lungs to yield
in one outburst
one shaking release of
hard, restrained breath
breath that finally broken free,
shatters the very molecules of the air
into which it is woven
ive remained silent while
i play with the frayed splinters of
the unraveling hem of my sainity
held my head up high while i passed through
flames and razors and endless days and sleepless nights
can you hear me?

I will huff and puff and blow you away, today. ..

Diary + Marlboro Red = Feel better!!

twinkle, twinkle, little bat!!
how I wonder what you're at!!
up above the world you fly,
like a teatray in the sky.

every now and then i still fall apart . . . when the rain falls . . .

when i see a familiar image
when i hear a familiar voice
when i hum a familiar tune
and i ask the same questions
i have asked once before
is it all worth it
to bear the marks
of a wounded heart
is it all worth it
to shed a tear
for lives torn apart
is it all worth it
to keep the thoughts
of a love long gone
is it all worth it
to hold the hope
for a brand new dawn
when wounds are healed
and tears are shed no more
when scars are sealed
and love is found once more
and i answer
IT IS ALL WORTH IT


*it was raining heavily last night about 3a.m..

"make a wish, hold it tight, keep it safe with all your might, and one day out of the blue, all your wishes may come true"

i find myself yet again in the presence of something so intimately grand that i feel a need to make this plea to Someone i know is much greater than all of us:

hold this moment for me
let me soar in its sky of wonder
let me swim in its ocean of love
let me walk down its path of truth
and if forever is in this moment
then hold forever for me
even if for just a moment

Allah Yang Satu..

what thanks can i presume to give
to you who live the gracious life of giving
of giving and receiving the golden gift of love
what i want to say today in this or any other way can never be expressed
it is best felt and understood in the small voice of gratitude
in thoughts, not words that one may have the will, but not the skill
to fashion and impart when all the loud and clouded hours are still
in the unvoiced responses of the thank-filled heart
the sudden start of the awakened pulse that quickens and exults
always remember this, thankfulness is a boon
a pleasant and a joyful thing to bring, a lasting pleasure for us to treasure
to relish and renew again and yet again
thanks for everything that's good and true: YOU

standing on the edge, and remembering how to be happy once again..

i thank You God for most this amazing
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes..